Wednesday, January 9, 2013

Quigley for Supervisor?!

Above is a message from our Supervisor who apparently is considering running for office abroad, hope the natives don't ruin it for us by asking to see a copy of his birth certificate. In ay event, the Town of Ulster started their New Year's right with James E. Quigs the third not being here to bug us, here's hoping 2014 we will have the same luck!!!! The guy must be pretty confident or arrogant, to take a three week vacation on an election year. Don't worry though he left us in qualified hands with his Deputy Eric Kitchen running the show. Not to toot our horn but we called that one a week before any othere blog or newspaper did.

Monday, December 17, 2012

Brawl at the Hillside?!

Rumor has it former Sheriff candidate Kevin Costello and Ulster Legislator Jim Maloney both had a lot to drink recently at the Hillside Manor and got into a huge fight that allegedly turned into a World Wrestling Federation style argument with chairs being thrown around and both had to be asked to leave by the owner. No word on who won but my money would be on Costello.

I would of loved to be a fly on the wall to see both those heavyweights going at it. Allegedly Maloney before he left pleaded with the owner for a slice of cheese cake.

Any who, we have a real treat for all of you guys, we were able to get a still shot of the argument at the Hillside. After we do some checking on it's authenticity, we will put it up!

Wizard of Quigs Endorses The Shake Weight

After a long town board meeting, I need to relax, shake of the likes of Councilman Morrow, Gadfly Robert Barton and that pesky Bill Kimble. That's why the Wizard of Quigs proudly uses the Shake Weight. It fits easily in my left palm and I give it a few jerks to the left and a few jerks to the right and after a few minutes all my stress and tension is released. It also is good at working off all those cookies I eat, I'm the Wizard of Quigs for cripes sake, I have to look good!  I don't want to end up looking like the guy behind my curtain. The Wizard of Quigs highly recomeds the Shake Weight this holiday season.

Quigley to Tap Kitchen as Dep Sup?

 Looks like the father and son team are close to reuniting, we hear on good authority that Supervisor Jim Quigley plans on tapping Councilman Eric Kitchen as Deputy Supervisor to shore up his support. Councilwoman Chris whatever her last name is this week, and John Morrow are on the same page, so with Morrow's planned run for supervisor, Quigley needs Councilman Kitchen for his vote and for his support. It's funny how politics makes strange bedfellows because we hear that Quigley thinks Kitchen is an idiot and Kitchen thinks Quigley is a arrogant jerk. They both may have a point.  On second look, maybe this duo will work!

Saturday, December 15, 2012

Wizard of Quigs shorts Out During Town Hall Meeting

For those of you who have not been to an Ulster town board meeting recently, this is an actual snapshot of last months meeting to adopt the 2013 budget. However, three seconds after this picture was taken, the board meeting had to come to an abrupt recess after Jim "behind the curtin" Maloney, spilled grape soda and McDonald's secret sauce on the keyboard, shorting out The Wizard of Quigs. 

Good news is The Wizard of Quigs made a full recovery about five minutes later, blamed his predecessor for the malfunction and the meeting was able to continue. During the recess Legislator Maloney was able to regroup with  a strategy session at Friendly's, Maloney felt so bad about shorting out the Wizard of Quigs that he wolfed down three Jim Dandys. Legislator Maloney confirmed this saying " well you know, the Wizard of Quigs' first name is Jim and I was eating a Jim Dandy. It makes me feel closer to the Wizard of Quigs when we're not together."  Maloney also wanted it to reflect for the record that he ate those three Jim Dandy's  in only three minutes. ''As the assessor of the town I know that if I only used three minutes and was given five, I have four minutes to spare. I want to donate those minutes back to the taxpayers in the town of Ulster said Maloney proudly, they deserve those minutes back.  Any who, the Wizard of Quigs short out seems to be water under the bridge and for now all is well again in the Wizard of Quigs' town of Ulster.

We are also pleased to report that the Wizard of Quigs has agreed to appear on this blog as he did today to provide us with regular news updates and product endorsements . Stay tuned to see the Wizard of Quigs later this week with a very important update for our readers.

Monday, December 10, 2012

Open Thread

Who knew Mike Spada's man boobs would attract us such a large audience. Our numbers have spiked significantly. We welcome you! As we look to expand our lampooning of truth mixed with a little bit of satire. Here is an open thread, what's going on in Ulster politics?! Whatya hearing? We wanna know the dirty little details. Leave them in our comments section.